Lately things seems to be like a ride on the roller coasters of life. I am not sure if that's the term that i should use or not. Heck, i am not even sure i should be writing this and post it online even though the number of people reading this is relatively low. But if you are reading this and you can relate to what i am writing here, then we are pretty much in the same boat. I been feeling a mix feelings of envy, jealousy, anger .. whatever emotions that humans are able to felt, i pretty much had the cocktail of it .. recently, it all makes a comeback to visit me. I know that i am supposed to be the master of my emotions .. easier said that done .. sometimes, you got to be a human to be able to handle all of that sh*t. What i did is i look over all of those things that i shouldn't have been feeling, which is created by my insecurities .. and focus on what matters to me, what i am fighting for so hard over these past half year and hang on tight to it. Trust me, it ain't easy. It's easier to give up and play it cool. But giving up is not an option to me. I have to be stronger and the only way i can be stronger is if i have tasted the pain inflicted by my insecurities and get over it.

I am just going to be more optimistic. I can do this!!