Lately things seems to be like a ride on the roller coasters of life. I am not sure if that's the term that i should use or not. Heck, i am not even sure i should be writing this and post it online even though the number of people reading this is relatively low. But if you are reading this and you can relate to what i am writing here, then we are pretty much in the same boat. I been feeling a mix feelings of envy, jealousy, anger .. whatever emotions that humans are able to felt, i pretty much had the cocktail of it .. recently, it all makes a comeback to visit me. I know that i am supposed to be the master of my emotions .. easier said that done .. sometimes, you got to be a human to be able to handle all of that sh*t. What i did is i look over all of those things that i shouldn't have been feeling, which is created by my insecurities .. and focus on what matters to me, what i am fighting for so hard over these past half year and hang on tight to it. Trust me, it ain't easy. It's easier to give up and play it cool. But giving up is not an option to me. I have to be stronger and the only way i can be stronger is if i have tasted the pain inflicted by my insecurities and get over it.

I am just going to be more optimistic. I can do this!!

Towards Self-Improvements

I had my share of screw-ups. I screwed-up my health, i ballooned up from 65kg range to a gargatuan 95kg range. Screwed up financially by over-spending.

Never mind all of that. The most important for me is to pick up after the dirty laundry and start afresh.

1.) Joined fitness centre and stick to the routine. At least 3 times a week. Love the group exercise. Exercising alone is not my thing. I love the competitiveness and the constant encouragement and yelling from the instructor. Right now i am yo-yoing at 84-85kg. Hope can reduce even more down.

2.) After getting rid of all the spiderwebs, gonna be on track financially and commit to a better savings and retirement savings.  ( for those of you who are not aware of it, savings and retirements savings are different. )

3.) Be a better person. Treat my friends better, treat my family better. Treat my lover better. All start by treating myself better.


I have great sources of inspirations all around me. My mum for her strong-will, my sister for her perseverance, my baby for passion and determination.

I am on a good path. :)